MS#108: April 4, 2026 / Posted April 6 / Transcript of Audio:
Well, good morning. Carol Fitzpatrick here.
It’s so interesting to recognize the energy signature of my Guides. I am sitting here on the back deck this morning. I had a long day of working on taxes yesterday, of all things—as I was listening to stories and news and various things. As I went through the day, I found myself totally mesmerized by worry. It’s as if my mind had separated from my beingness.
I saw, so clearly, my worry body, and I could tell exactly where my projected worry went. Of course, it went to my loved ones. It also went to the different areas of life where, in my perception, things are not right or perfect. And of course, the patient on the table is always the Self.
For me to sit motionless for hours on end, looking at spreadsheets and records — finalizing, in the grand finale of last night, the organizing of multiple businesses and enterprises — was, of course, silly in one sense, because that’s not what life is. It’s necessary, but not something to be consumed by. And yet, there I was. On some level, it felt really good to get all my details in order. But on another level, it was sheer misery.
I think that’s what life is, in some regards. There are things that we must do, and then there are the things — the states of awareness — that we love to be in. And it’s where the two shall meet in oneness. I suppose the goal would be to love doing my taxes, to love doing the mundane as much as I love all the other. And of course, even as I say that, it seems like a nonsensical, silly statement.
But as I say this, I remember the monks walking across the US in a walk for peace. I’m sure in their journey there were many mundane moments as they trudged through the weather—the wind and the rain, the ice. I understood that there was a constant hum of mantra going on within them, and an observance of the life around them. So I think that’s what spiritual practices do for us. They help us get into that hum, so that no matter what we’re doing, there’s an awareness of God consciousness guiding us, flowing through us, in all that we are and all that we do.
So I sat there motionless, well into the evening, as I organized papers and listened to various chitter-chatter of this and that, I found myself paying so much attention to the worry factor—the fear factor—that I have held within me and interacted with all my life. And now it’s time to let it go. To see it for what it is: a mere environmental bubble that I dropped into upon birth, and fought with, hid from, tried to get away from all during my childhood and into my adulthood. Then somehow, some way, it settled in, and it almost felt—it feels—like a part of me. But it’s not at all. It’s a very sneaky thing, when we entertain a vibration that is so harsh on one level but becomes insidious as time goes on, to the point of hiding out in plain sight.
Yesterday, as I found myself listening while my fingers were doing the sorting and the counting of things, I was listening to a brain specialist speak on trauma and our relationship with the dynamics of worldly things—his version, his life’s work. Focusing on brain chemistry was a whole other take. Speaking of neurobiology in his own vocabulary—however different from mine—I found myself very intrigued and listening intently to what he had to say: that when we reinforce behaviors through our interactions with the world, it changes our brain chemistry. When we get triggered later on in life, or we develop these protective instincts, we’re not reliving the trauma. It’s actually a chemical reaction in our brain that we’re reacting to. I find that absolutely fascinating.
I’m also wondering about when we are triggered back into past lives. He was talking about memories being triggered by the feeling present at the moment of the initial event, when fear first happened, and how we go back in time. But in actuality, it’s just the brain chemistry. It’s not a memory inside the brain. It’s in our consciousness field. So if that can apply to early childhood, or any trauma we experience, it’s also relevant to past-life experience, any kind of experience we’ve had, especially as embodied ones. We have non-localized experiences of other universes, other planets, other families of light, and yet we’re here, embodied. So concepts of being grounded or staying focused apply even more because we’re talking about a time-space continuum. And this world has its own unique properties.
I’ve always been fascinated by the gravitational field as well. Early on in my awakening process, I was so aware of non-gravitational influences, especially when my Guides took me up and out of my body and showed me the misty worlds, the time tunnels, the light tunnels, how they work and how you must flow. Letting go of your sense of gravity, allowing your intention to show you, in your conscious awareness, where you are and how you are to create. Once I was given a very visceral demonstration of how to roll out of the body— to bring my consciousness while leaving my physical body behind—to travel, to engage in inter-dimensional travel. It was quite incredible to visit the other worlds and see the other beings in their native form.
And then, for whatever reason, during that period of time, about a ten-year period, my Guides said, “You must get back in your body. And you must learn how to play to stay in form.” So I suppose I’m entering another phase of this. I know I will not be entrapped in this physical form — that was made very clear to me. But I also know that it’s time to let go of the worldly influences, that membrane that holds me in. What was once a self-imposed jail cell, rather than a comfort, is now confining me. And I find it interesting how it shows up — in my desire to be free.
Just as I’m saying this, the sun is shining, and my very first yellow butterfly of the season has flitted by. My mother is always represented as the yellow butterfly, because she so loved serving in community.